Father's Day

Troy would probably kill me if he knew I was writing this about him.  I, however, think he deserves it.

I am amazed at the transformation I have seen in him over the last several years since we started this process.  Perhaps he always had these new qualities I have seen, we just have never been in this position before for them to come out.  Or perhaps, he has changed his thinking and his heart.

Several years after Jenna was born I wanted another child, but he did not.  For years I begged and pleaded with him but he could not be persuaded.  He was worried about the stress and worry associated with it and with that he was concerned he might have another life-threatening bleed.  Finally, he changed his mind---when I was about 39!  Not wanting to physically go through a pregnancy at that age and risk having a child with lifelong problems or complications myself, I looked into adoption.

He had many trepidations about adoption; "Will the child have health problems?,  What will the child look like? Will the child have emotional issues from being institutionalized?"  Once we settled on Ethiopia, he was anxious about whether the child would feel as though they fit in with our family due to their skin color.  For several months after we were on the waiting list,  he would mention the options for changing our minds and "getting out of it" for various reasons---the economy, terrorism, the cost increases.  But then he started talking to people and found many people who had adopted that he never knew had.  He learned of wonderful experiences others had, along with not so wonderful experiences.  He found most people were very supportive and admired him for what he was doing. 

It was then that I had noticed the change.  He began telling more and more people about what we were undertaking and talking about it in a positive light.  When we got the referral of Emmanuel, I truly think it was love at first sight for him.  This was compounded even further by finally meeting him in Ethiopia.  Troy and I knew this was the child meant for us.  It wasn't until the last delay with the disappearance letter, however, that I really saw the "father protecting his child" come out.  He called the agency many times (with my initial encouragement as I was tired of crying on the phone) and fought for his son.  He pushed them to get things done and keep us informed.  He too was heartbroken that we were losing more time with our child.  Here he was fighting for a child he had only had contact with for all of four days.  I consider myself very lucky as I know not all men can or want to love and raise a strangers child.

Last Sunday at church, I saw the culmination of the last two years come to light.  We were there with only Jenna as Jessica was at a party.  One of the ushers asked Troy if we only had the one child.  Troy said "No, we have another daughter who is at a party AND I have a boy who is 8,000 miles away.  I have an adopted son in Ethiopia."  Hearing him say that with such pride and joy made me smile . . . really smile.