On Embassy Road

Well, we were finally submitted to the embassy on 7/20/11 after two false starts.  The agency apparently wanted to get additional information regarding something they found in his paperwork and had a hard time getting it.  Yesterday we received notice from the embassy that they need more information.  That was not the Monday morning wake-up call I wanted.

The embassy wants information on who Amanuel's guardian is/was over in Ethiopia.  They questioned a name in his file that we have never heard of and want court documents related to guardianship.  I just don't understand why this is important at this point.  His biological parents cannot be found and we have already passed court with OUR names on the adoption decree and his birth certificate.  WE are his parents!  Why does this process need to be drug out any longer?

Anyway, I am keeping close contact with those involved in getting this resolved and pushing for a quick solution.  I AM TIRED OF WAITING.  I have also changed my plans to travel to the last week of August as this way I will not miss the girls first day of school or the concert we have tickets to.  Of course, if we get the okay to travel sooner you bet I will be on that plane in a heartbeat!

And for those that don't remember, here is the latest picture of what I am fighting for---my son!

Nathan and His Favorite Friend

My Decision

After this weeks developments, I have come to a decision.  Or perhaps my heart has come to a decision. 

We were supposed to be submitted to embassy last Wednesday; we were not.
We were supposed to be submitted to embassy this Wednesday; we were not.

To not go into a lot of confusing details, we found out yesterday that the agency has been trying to obtain more documents and search for yet another person before they submit us to embassy.  In our agencies defense, they are just trying to dot their "i's" and cross their "t's" so that we do not have issues with the embassy; so that we can clear embassy the first time around.  We however, have had enough delays and are out of patience.  With correspondence received today, they think they have a solution and said we would be submitted "for sure" next Wednesday.  If so, we should know within three to five days of submission if we have cleared and can schedule the visa appointment; or if they want further documentation and subsequently more delay.

I have decided that if we do not clear embassy by the first few days of August, I will be booking tickets to travel to Ethiopia the third week of August.  I will stay as long as needed to bring our son home.  I will be able to "assist" the agency while there to finish our case, but more importantly, be able to start the bonding process.  Since reaching this decision I have felt so much more at peace.  My mood has also changed dramatically from tearful and depressed to confident and joyful.  It is a decision supported by everyone I have talked to and that helps tremendously.

Of course we are hoping that we clear embassy without delay and it does not come to this.  If it does however, at least I know when I will get to see and hold our son and it is so good to not carry around that uncertainty we have been living with for over two years now.

Shocking Statistics

Estimated population in Ethiopia:  almost 91 million

Population      0-14 years:   46.3%
                    15-64 years:  51%
                    65 and over:  2.7%

Median Age:  16.8 years

Life Expectancy Average:  56.19 years

Fertitlity Rate:  6.02 children/woman

Infant Mortality Rate:  77.12/1,000 live births

Estimated number of orphans:  4.3 million

Father's Day

Troy would probably kill me if he knew I was writing this about him.  I, however, think he deserves it.

I am amazed at the transformation I have seen in him over the last several years since we started this process.  Perhaps he always had these new qualities I have seen, we just have never been in this position before for them to come out.  Or perhaps, he has changed his thinking and his heart.

Several years after Jenna was born I wanted another child, but he did not.  For years I begged and pleaded with him but he could not be persuaded.  He was worried about the stress and worry associated with it and with that he was concerned he might have another life-threatening bleed.  Finally, he changed his mind---when I was about 39!  Not wanting to physically go through a pregnancy at that age and risk having a child with lifelong problems or complications myself, I looked into adoption.

He had many trepidations about adoption; "Will the child have health problems?,  What will the child look like? Will the child have emotional issues from being institutionalized?"  Once we settled on Ethiopia, he was anxious about whether the child would feel as though they fit in with our family due to their skin color.  For several months after we were on the waiting list,  he would mention the options for changing our minds and "getting out of it" for various reasons---the economy, terrorism, the cost increases.  But then he started talking to people and found many people who had adopted that he never knew had.  He learned of wonderful experiences others had, along with not so wonderful experiences.  He found most people were very supportive and admired him for what he was doing. 

It was then that I had noticed the change.  He began telling more and more people about what we were undertaking and talking about it in a positive light.  When we got the referral of Emmanuel, I truly think it was love at first sight for him.  This was compounded even further by finally meeting him in Ethiopia.  Troy and I knew this was the child meant for us.  It wasn't until the last delay with the disappearance letter, however, that I really saw the "father protecting his child" come out.  He called the agency many times (with my initial encouragement as I was tired of crying on the phone) and fought for his son.  He pushed them to get things done and keep us informed.  He too was heartbroken that we were losing more time with our child.  Here he was fighting for a child he had only had contact with for all of four days.  I consider myself very lucky as I know not all men can or want to love and raise a strangers child.

Last Sunday at church, I saw the culmination of the last two years come to light.  We were there with only Jenna as Jessica was at a party.  One of the ushers asked Troy if we only had the one child.  Troy said "No, we have another daughter who is at a party AND I have a boy who is 8,000 miles away.  I have an adopted son in Ethiopia."  Hearing him say that with such pride and joy made me smile . . . really smile.

It's Official!!

WE PASSED!  WE PASSED!!  WE PASSED!!!  We officially are parents to our beautiful and smart little boy.  Apparently the social worker picked up the disappearance letter from the Kebele and delivered it to the judge the day before our court date---talk about cutting it close!  That is all that was needed for us to pass.  It's too bad it took seven weeks to do it.

Susan called me the minute she found out the news and I happened to be at work at the time.  When the phone rang and I saw who it was I was walking a patient at the time.  I hollered for someone to help with the patient as this was the call I was waiting for.  When I answered it I knew by the tone in her voice it was good news.  She said "you passed, it is over."  I was ecstatic and once I hung up, I immediately started getting hugs and congratulations from my co-workers.  After all, they have also been on this journey with me the last two years.

What now?  Well, we move onto the last step which is Embassy.  The agency has to wait for the adoption decree from the courts and then get it translated.  Once translated they get the new birth certificate and then use that to get his passport.  He also has to get a medical exam by the Embassy doctor and have repeat blood tests done.  Once all these things are done and his file is complete, it is submitted to the US Embassy where his file is reviewed.  Hopefully at that time we will be cleared to travel.  They could also request more documentation which can't possibly happen to us again, could it?  The Embassy will e-mail me when we have been cleared and we will schedule an Embassy date.  This will be when I go back to Ethiopia to get his VISA and bring him home. 

Unfortunately, this whole process will take about 6-8 weeks, if we are lucky.  The latest news is that the Embassy will only be scheduling half the appointments they normally do in July due to staff training.  Our agency says it should not slow things down too much though, due to only about half the cases passing court right now.  This remains to be seen but I don't think we deserve any more delays.  We have had our share.

Well, now that we have passed court I can finally show off our son to the world!  World, meet Nathan Emmanuel Hertzfeld!

Reliving a Nightmare

I have not posted in awhile as the last four weeks have been a nightmare.  We are unfortunately, reliving another delay due to a document issue.  It has been six weeks since our original court date and the agency still has not collected the disappearance letter.  It has appeared as though those responsible for writing it are in no hurry and don't want to be bothered to do it.  After our court date on May 3 the judge never set another date as she just left the case open waiting for the letter to be submitted.  Well, on May 20th the judge set another court date for June 9th as well as issued a court order to the Kebele to request the disappearance letter.  When the social worker from Emmanuels' original orphanage delivered the court order, the Kebele requested an additional 3-4 days to complete their investigation.  Complete their investigation after SIX WEEKS!!  You are kidding me!  The social worker went back to the judge who did extend the court order for four more days and this was delivered to the Kebele on May 25th.

The woman in charge of the Ethiopian program at AAI, Susan, has been a big advocate for our case and was just in Ethiopia last week.  She gathered the above information for us and said that the social worker advised her the judge will not extend the court order again and that the letter is in process.  Susan has been a dear to us and has spoken both to Troy and I on many occasions and pushed to find out information when possible on our case.  I don't know what we would have done without her.

We are hoping and praying that the letter will be collected and submitted to the judge for our court date on June 9th.  If we do not pass this time I think I will lose all hope.  We have now lost nearly 3 1/2 months with our child due to preventable paperwork delays and it is completely heartbreaking.  I thought we had our share after the first delay, but now with this delay all I can ask is "why?"  "Why us again?"

A Sad Day

Well, we did not pass court yesterday.  They were not able to get the disappearance letter in time.  This has got me worrying that this may turn into another birth certificate fiasco.  We do not know whether the judge has scheduled another court date for us but we were told they are working on getting the letter.

So sad . . .