Sixteen Months and Still Waiting

Sweet sixteen---I don't think so!  We have now been on the waiting list for sixteen LONG months.  I called the agency last week upon rumors that there were more families in front of us than I had last been told.  Well fortunately, we are still #3---unfortunately, we are STILL #3! 

The interesting news however, is that we are in a position whereby we could get a girl referral.  Our preference was stated as either gender, but we were told that we would more than likely get a boy as the wait for boys was about four months shorter.  Now, in an interesting twist of fate, the referrals for both infant boys and girls are neck and neck.  The agency told me that we would be referred whatever gender came up when we got to the top of the list.  I'm not quite sure how I feel about this.  On one hand, since we already have two girls and are paying a lot of money for this, why not get the gender we don't already have?  On the other hand, should we view it as it is God's will and if we are referred a girl that is what we were meant to have?  We do have the option to turn down the referral and wait for the other gender---a position I never imagined we would be in!

The last referrals that went out for infant boys were given at about the sixteen month mark.  Could ours be just around the corner?  or several months away??  I am now carrying my cell phone around with me as though it were another appendage waiting for that elusive call.  A call that will hopefully come sooner than later!

Here We Go Again

Well, I can now say I am officially FRUSTRATED with this process!!  After the initial paperwork taking three months I am now embarking on part of it again.  Our approval from USCIS ( ie. immigration) expires on 1/9/11 and obviously we are not going to have our child home before that date.  We are allowed a free, one-time, extension of that approval but it requires a home-study update.  Stupidly, I thought it was nothing more than a simple letter from our social worker stating nothing had changed.  WRONG!!  We have to redo almost our entire home study!  Not only do we have to have another home visit but we have to have another fire inspection, get our medicals redone, get our child abuse clearances again (which I was told is taking two months), get another reference, and get fingerprinted AGAIN---for like the tenth time!

When we began this process it was 4-6 months for a referral, hence, we would have been there and done that with our child home before any of this became an issue.  Now that we have been waiting almost 16 months it is a different story.  Aside from the additional paperwork, we are also looking at more unanticipated expense--cost of fingerprints as well as the home study update.  Our agency is also increasing their fees the middle of this month for those that don't have a referral yet.  I'm not holding my breath on making that cut-off.

I know this will all be worth it in the end but let me tell you, adoption is not easy!  I would almost rather go through labor and delivery ten more times than have to jump through all these hoops!  Sorry for the venting but sometimes you just have to let it out.  Hopefully my next post will be a happier one!