Thoughts on Forty

Well, today I turned forty. There . . . I said it! I am not quite sure how I feel about it yet. On one hand, they say "40 is the new 30" and I have had plenty of people tell me I don't look as old as 40---for whatever 40 is supposed to look like. On the other hand, forty is halfway to eighty which is the average lifespan. Need I say more?

I have often thought during this adoption process, and do as well today, if I should be doing this "at my age." "What am I thinking" . . . "Am I nuts". . . "Why do I want to start over? Should I not be thinking about getting a convertible, a boat, or at least some "me time?" All I can answer myself with is that I do not feel my family is complete. Don't get me wrong, I love my girls more than anything in the world; I just feel as though there is something (or someone) missing in our life. I think God has put this in my heart to do something beyond myself. To make someone's life better and in turn better ours. I don't think age matters in order to accomplish this.

They say age is just a number and if kids make you younger . . . and 40 is the new 30 . . . then I think I may just be having my 21st birthday all over again next year!