Still in the Tunnel . . . but with a Glimmer of Light

Here I am, up early on a Saturday because I couldn't fall back asleep.  Sleep has been a sneaky thing lately, avoiding me at all costs.  Need I explain why.

In case there are those of you who don't know yet, we still have not cleared embassy.  It has been over eight weeks now.  The letter that we hoped would clear us describing the orphanages' futile attempts to run the ad was responded to by the embassy with;  "An ad needs to be run looking for the mother."  Really??  REALLY??  I believe the letter stated the impossiblity of doing such a thing!!  They stated that if an ad was placed for two weeks they could then process our case.  Don't they think that if this had been possible it would have been done many weeks ago?  GGGGRRRRRR!

I wrote a letter to the embassy questioning how one could go about running an ad if the police would not give permission to do it.  They responded the next day and did provide a few suggestions which I passed on to our agency.  Earlier this week we were told from our agencies attorney that they were reformatting the ad and going to attempt to run it in a private paper.  Yesterday we were notified that the ad was going to be posted this Sunday.  FINALLY!!  I guess there really is more than one way to skin a cat!

Interestingly enough, we received an email from the embassy yesterday in regards to a letter submitted by our agency that we knew nothing of.  It was a request for more information about the woman who brought Amanuel to the orphanage originally and her attempts to locate the mother in another region of Ethiopia.  Apparently she traveled to this other region looking for his birth mother.  How awesome!  This is the same woman the embassy interviewed a while back. We do not know if this woman is a relative or just a family friend but my hopes since we learned of her have been to possibly meet her when I go to pick up our son.  She may be the only connection we have to his birth mother and a source of information that Amanuel may want to learn about someday.  Things such as how old his mother was when he was born, her personality, her life, details of his birth, etc.  After learning of her assistance with our case I am hopeful she will be willing to meet me.

Today marks FIVE months since we have seen our son.  I never thought he wouldn't have been home by now.  The thought of it back in April probably would have killed me.  How I continue to function amazes me.  Don't get me wrong, there have been days that I just don't function, but having two busy kids at home keeps me going.  I have mentioned to others that most times I feel numb when it comes to this process.  Numb to disappointment.  Lord knows we have had a lot of it.  Maybe that is what is keeping me sane, the not feeling anything.  I often wonder how I will react to the words "Case Cleared."  Will I cry? scream? sit in my numbness and disbelief?  I guess that remains to be seen . . .

"The task ahead of you is never as great as the Power behind you."

Why Did I Ask?

Why did I ever ask the question?  Why, after all we have been through with this adoption, did I ask THE question----"What next?"  Because that question was answered today and it was not the answer I was looking for.

We received an email today from the agency doctor in Ethiopia.  It was apparently brought to someones attention that Amanuel's lower legs were bowed more than usual.  He was taken to an orthopedic physician who performed x-rays and it is thought that he may have a disease whereby your shins can become progressively bowed unless treated.  Treatment consists of bracing to prevent stress on the bones as well as to try to get the bones to grow normally.  I was told that the only way it is "cured or stopped" is by surgery.  The surgery, however, is done only in extreme cases.  Treatment needs to be started soon, however, to prevent severe deformity or disability.  Currently they are treating it as if he had rickets---with high doses of vitamin D.  Great if he had rickets but it will do nothing for the other condition. 

I have no problem dealing with this condition, if he has this condition at all.  Although we requested a healthy infant, we did this to help a child and now he needs our help more than ever. With treatment he should be fine; but the issue now is getting him home to receive that treatment as quickly as possible.  That brings us to the embassy.  Today the agency received the letter from the orphanage stating the circumstances of their inability to run the ad looking for the mother due to the police being uncooperative.  This was hopefully submitted to the embassy today.  Our congressman also e-mailed a copy of the letter to the embassy attached to a letter of his own.  We are hoping this will be it.  Susan (from our agency) says she has a gut feeling it will be.  Of course, as can be expected from our history, I am not so convinced.  I am not setting myself up for disappointment again.

I do think the timing of this medical condition could not have been better; although I would have been happier had it never come.  I feel as it may be another way of God telling us this is the child for us and to not give up the fight for him.  Besides learning that Amanuel shared the same birthday as Troy, this medical condition is right up my alley with being a Physical Therapist.  I can help him, literally.

I have often questioned many times during our adoption process the statement, "God never gives you more than you can handle."  God must think I am a very, VERY strong person for the hurdles he has put in our way of bringing our son home.  I will, however, never ask the question, "What next?, again.

PLEASE pray for us and our son that this will come to an end next week and he will get the treatment and LOVE that he needs.